I offer you the possibilities I have explored.

I tried all kinds of therapy and healing modalities including the 12 Step program.

Taking medication: relieves the symptom (the anger, the depression, the withdrawal, etc. but it does not solve the problem because it does not get at the root).

Going to a hypnotist: it did not work for me.

Taking mild-altering drugs to put yourself into an altered state: this did not work either because I do not want to alter who I am.  I want to accept and be present with whom I am and function from this consciousness.  I want to consciously choose to be with G-d.

Silence: I have difficulty with this as you all know.

I have worked very hard to come closer to the source of who I am.  I have consciously used every painful circumstance in my life to bring me into contact with the real me... the humanness of me.

I gratefully recognize that I am attaining a new level of awareness.  I find my self less addicted to the circumstances and the people who "push my buttons."   I am becoming emotionally sober. My reactive behavior to the circumstance of NOT having my needs met no longer results in a myriad of self defeating behavior.

I know that reactionary script well, and have been a character in it many times.

No one "out there" is doing this to me... it is my own lack of self esteem, it is my not owning the reality of my being.  It is my ego's admonition that my true self (being all of whom I am) will never get its needs met.  (Pathwork Lecture 192: Real and False Needs)

The disharmony in our lives is a result of searching outside of ourselves for who we already are. 

Many of us have reached the "Dark Night of our souls." 

We are in despair.  We are hopeless and down on our knees.

We ask: "Where are you G-d? Why have you forsaken me?"

Are you willing to enter into your own version of the cruxification?

Are you willing to be the main character, willing to play the leading role in your drama?

Are you willing to know that the time of awakening is at hand?

As you call out: are you willing to hear your own cries?

Are you willing to be your own savior?

Are you willing to remember who you are?

Are you willing to awaken from fear's dream of being separate and alone?

Are you willing to RISE in love with yourself?

Please take time each day to sit and be with these questions. When you are ready, ask your intuitive self, your greater self to answer these questions. It is only when you allow your undefended self to speak that you can drop below the ego's sense of self and then and only then can you experience your own rebirth.

Dear G-d,

This Valentine's Day may I open my heart to myself and to everyone I meet.

Today may I heal my own heart so that I can heal whomever I come in contact with.

Dear G-d may I become an instrument of your peace.

So be it.

Amen

Please listen to the song: